Random thoughts on life…
Maybe this weekend wasn’t so bad after all. Just had to drag myself out of bed to stop dwelling on what could’ve been, who’s around, who’s not around, what I want and what I don’t have (that’s beyond my control anyway).
Guess long weekends allow for too much time to think. At least work days there are achievements to chase. Not that I don’t have projects to work on outside of work. Motivation is another issue. Why do we do what we do… if we succeed, but at the end of the day we have no one to share our success with. Like going home and telling the brick wall “Hey! Guess what I achieved today”… Guess I’ve devised ways to avoid these thoughts, but every now and then, maybe in boredom, I start to question myself and what successes I’m actually looking for. I want to do well, learn, be awesome at something… but why? I always wonder if I were still in Australia, surrounded by long time friends, if I’d still feel the same way? Or I’d have enough support around me to avoid gloomy days.
Coincidently I’ve spent Vesak Day these 2 years at One Man Coffee for brunch and only realised whilst I was sipping on my coffee. Something seemed all too familiar.
I’ve recognised I’m in an antisocial phase where I don’t really want to meet new people or those I don’t know well, which makes me feel a little bit of a failure as a meetup organiser. And knowing most of my good friends I have now I made though connections in my meetup group makes me wonder what awesome people I’m not meeting by not holding events?
Rather glad to have met up with 2 good friends today that view life in very different ways. It’s interesting to see what they want to achieve, they’re happy with or they’re trying to improve. Friends are great when they can inspire and teach new things. Self improvement has to come from oneself, but it’s great to have friends that think alike to nudge you along every now and then to make sure you’re going in the right direction.
Finally reading books… I’m a visual person. Graphics is my thing as a designer, lines of text just can’t get me to sit still. But I’m glad I took my friends’ recommendations to get a Amazon Kindle. It’s great! I’m finally reading. Even though I can’t do so if my MacBook is anywhere near me and I’m seated comfortably—as I’d rather do work, edit photos or work on projects. Now, I’ve started reading on the train and bus. And whilst walking… though maybe I should stop that… or continue till I walk into a pole one day and learn a painful lesson?! Kindle is awesome! Get one!
So the long weekend that seemed too empty and lengthy to survive seems kinda short now that it’s a work day tomorrow. But then again, I’m also glad it’s a work day with things to achieve. Plus having people around is great. Even if not necessarily interacting most of the time, people’s presence just feels more comforting.